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April
15th, 2007
I don't know about you guys, but I will never forget where I was, and
what I was doing, when I heard the news. What news? Well of course I would
be talking about the DNA test results to find out who was the biological
father of Anna Nicole's baby. As you all now know, it was Larry
Birkhart. Apparently Larry's sperm was just wee bit faster
than the other thousand participants, as well as unfortunately, Howard
K. Stern's sperm. I think we can all rest easy, now that we know the
final chapter of this most riveting international story.
I swear if I saw one more news story about this freak show I was gonna
kick my TV screen in. I mean come on. Are we that screwed up in our society
where this is such a big story?
Look I know this is a weekly surf column, And for the most part, I try
to cover the surf scene. But let's face it, we are all bombarded with
weekly and daily stories on the news and in the papers that are not surf
related. So, I'll mention them, because we all live in the same world.
Unless you don't have cable and or a TV, then this BS might not mean anything
to you.
So if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to spout off about a few other subjects
that caught my attention recently. Then I'll get into the surf scene.
Like the clean Friday The 13th Swell (see photos below) and the
one we're gonna get on Marathon Monday (Patriots Day).
Let's start with Sanjaya. People help me out here. What the freaking
BS is going on with this freakazoid? As I confessed to last year, I watch
the popular singing competition AMERICAN IDOL. Now before you shake
your heads in disgust, I know plenty of surfers who watch the show. Plenty
of BIG WAVE surfers I might add.
I guess I got into it because of my kids last year. Any ways, long story
short. I watch it. The problem is, this kid Sanjaya is still on
the show and he's on mostly due to this underground movement to keep him
on with the enormous amount of votes he gets every week.
For those who don't watch it (and I envy you all now). The contestants
stay on the show each week by the amount of votes that come in. Sanjaya
is getting huge numbers from people who hate the show and just want to
make a mockery of it. While I can certainly appreciate that movement,
I can't stand to watch talented singers leave because they did not get
enough votes. Now for the record, I have never voted. Why? It's a joke.
Huh? It's true. You can vote as many times as possible. In other words
when Ryan Seakelp says that 32 million people voted he's
actually meaning that one million people voted 32 times
each. How is that fair? I will say, that if Sanjaya wins it all,
it will be the end of American Idol as we know it. Simon
will quit, and without Simon, there is no show. Which is fine by
me. I can use my Tuesday nites back.
Sanjaya you freak, take yourself out of the competition.
Another non surfing subject has to do with those British sailors
who were recently held hostage by the Iranians.
Ok, I don't mean to be cruel here, but I almost blew my coffee out of
my nose when I read that one of the British sailors complained
to the press how he was tortured. Did you see this? One sailor said he
was tormented by the Iranians on a daily basis and it reduced him
to tears. What was the torture? Apparently, the Iranians kept telling
this one Sailor that he looked exactly like Mr Bean the comedy
British actor! Are you kidding me?
That's torture? Oh the horror...the horror. Give me a freaking break!
I feel bad for Mr Bean.
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Speaking
of torture. The April 5th swell we had the week before last,
I believe it was on a Thursday, I was driving by one of the popular
breaks that has public parking. I noticed a vehicle parked at a handicap
parking space. On closer inspection, I saw that it was a car full
of surfers. And they were either getting ready to go out, or getting
ready to leave (after surfing).
They were in wetsuits, so it was hard to tell.
What was not hard to tell, was the fact that, none of these guys appeared
to be handicapped. I was already late for an appointment and it took
every fiber of restraint that I could muster, to not go back there and
confront them. I knew that if I had gone back, I would of said some
things that I might of regretted. But only, if they did not move
their vehicle. It was a classic case of The Old Ralph battling
with the New Improved Ralph.
You see, my late father who loved the ocean, lost both of his feet.
What if he wanted to pull up and watch the surf? Then I thought about
some of the young Veterans coming home from from Iraq or Afghanistan
who may be disabled. Some of who could very well be surfers. What if
they wanted to check the surf? But couldn't find a space because some
irresponsible carload of surfers were parked in a handicapped spot?
So what's my point here?
Well it's simple. Please DON'T PARK in a Handicapped spot unless
you are handicapped. Or, unless you want to qualify to park in one.
Yes that means exactly what you think it does. I don't care how good
the surf is. Or the fact that there are NO more free spaces. Do the
right thing. Walk a little. I guarantee the person with the handicap
plates would love to trade places with you.
The Red Sox Opening Day was not all what it was supposed to be.
Mr Gazillion Dollar, Japanese Ace, Dice-K made his debut at Fenway
and well...they lost. End if the world? Hardly. Like I've said a million
times before...talk to me in August. The season is soooooo long.
My buddy Jeff and his wife Joanne and son Everest
just came back from their Southeast Asian tour. They even got
to see some of my old hangouts. He was surprised at how warm it is over
there. It can get very warm and very humid. But there is surf, if you
can find it. Those Typhoons in the South China Sea can
produce some good waves.
Someone assumed recently, that I was a big IMUS fan. I am not.
He always reminded me of a Civil War Veteran with a radio show.
He messed up. However, I'd like to see Rev Sharpton and Rev.
Jackson jump on the Black rappers who are making millions demeaning
black women. Where's the justice there Reverend?
Happy birthday to Christopher Nichols! and Happy 22nd
Wedding Anniversary to Lenny and Arlene Nichols.
And congrats to Leah Grondin for her 2nd place finish
in the Womens Figure Skating Competition this weekend.
Please
Remember The Danny Miller Foundation.
Donations for Late Surfer Danny Miller's young son can be made to
The Landon Miller Fund through ANY Citizen Bank.
Or send your donation to:
The Landon Miller Foundation
83 South Road
North Hampton, NH 03862
Click
below to see Danny Tribute or see Danny Surfing
Tribute to Danny.
North By Northeast
Remember
my friends...Surfing heals all wounds....
Pray for Surf. Pray for Peace. Surf For Fun.
Ralph
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